Tantrums and meltdowns are common in children under the age of five. But there is less you could do as parents to teach your child anger management skills to allow them to take control of their emotions. It is only when your child turns 5, they start understanding the complex feelings and can learn techniques of overcoming their anger.
Anger is an emotion
Like happiness and sadness, anger is also an emotion. And if we analyse, most parents are not being able to master anger management skills. However, as caregivers to young children, we must have a clear notion about anger.
Anger cannot be abolished from a child’s mind, but you can help your child to take control of the situation when they experience anger.
So, we have to agree that anger is a part of our emotion and it is natural. Next, we need to understand that how we take control of the situation completely depends upon us.
Now that we have understood that the aftermath of anger can be managed by mastering anger management skills, it is time for us to teach our children such skills to give them a fulfilling and happy future.
But before managing anger, your child should learn this first
Let me tell you a story from my childhood. I was a timid little girl who had tons of feelings to express, but could never put them in words. For me saying “sorry” or even saying that “I love you the most in this whole world” was difficult. Whenever I was about to express my feelings, a gulf of fear would stick in my throat, which will restrict me from uttering a single word.
The reason why most children face similar issues is due to a lack of words. They don’t know how to express themselves in front of others. Another worry was how others will react to the expression of emotion.
Children see their parents as eternal bliss, and it is you who could teach them how to express themselves as well as provide them courage by accepting and reciprocating their feelings.
So, in other words, teach your child to visualize and verbalize their feelings. Your child must learn to put their feelings and emotions into words.
The art of describing emotions will take your child a long way in their emotional journey in life.
Role of parents and caregivers in managing anger in kids
Most of the characteristics in our children are manipulated by us. Kids learn from what they see and especially what they see their parents doing. Perhaps the best way to teach your child something is to practice the same thing by yourself. Show your child that how exactly should they behave when they are angry.
Modelling appropriate behaviour when angry will teach your child to take control of their emotions when they are angry.
5 anger management techniques for children ages 5 to 8
If your child is between 5 to 8 years of age and is dealing with an anger issue, it is time for you teach them self-anger management skills. The 5 tips to control anger will help your child to divert their mind in something fruitful and take control of their emotions.
1. Indulge your child in a hobby- It is completely normal if your child doesn’t show interest in any kind of hobby. As parents, you have to create interest in your child regarding the smallest things in life and you will be amazed to see that how their feelings transform and they become fond of something and pick it up as a hobby. Let your child explore new things and find out something that tickles their interests.
Involving into a hobby will help your child to stress relief and also give him a way to remain calm when angry. He will also learn how to use his energy positively when experiencing anger.
2. Encourage them to write down their feelings– While you help your child to verbalize their feelings, they will now be able to put their feelings in words and sentences. Encourage them to write down their feelings in a diary regularly. This way your child will have a secure place to burst their emotions to control anger. Keeping anger within oneself may lead to distress and depression in the long run.
3. Teach them the power of communication- I don’t buy the logic of time out with the kids, though this is completely personal. However, I as a mother would like to communicate as much as possible when my child is dealing with anger issues. It is important to teach your child that every problem has a solution and that could be achieved through positive communication. Make your child aware of how to put feelings into words and represent the same to portray their emotions to others.
4. Help your child relieve stress while exercising regularly- Daily exercise not only energizes your body, but boosts your emotions as well. A daily exercise routine will enable your child to relive their stress and enjoy their time with you. You can make this exciting by taking an active part with your child. Go swimming together, or play an outdoor game together. This will encourage family bonding as well. Deep breathing can be beneficial to keep control of anger. So, let your child practice deep breathing as a daily regime. Take out a time together to practice the same.
5. Teach your child empathy to deal with anger– The most dangerous aspect is the result of anger. Even most sensible people lose their minds when angry. Growing empathy in your child, help them feel what others feel. They can feel the pain of others when they behave abnormally when angry. While your child learns empathy, he will slowly experience a hold on how he surfaces his anger.
Summing it up
Just a few days back, a mother came to me for a solution. She could understand that she is becoming angry with her son very often. When you become empathetic, you could place yourself in other’s shoes and experience their feelings raised by your action. This gives you a feeling of withdrawal of anger. You would feel that your anger can harm a person emotionally, and you cannot let it happen, right!
So teach your child the same when it comes to taking control of their emotions. As parents, we can’t be around our kids 24X7, and then they need to take care of their emotions. With the help of these 5 self-anger management skills, your child will learn how to take charge of their anger.